At first, I was running in the city, on the streets, trails, walkways under the scorching sun... then, I was still running but I've reached a long stretch of beaches and it was already dark.
With a blink of an eye, I found myself in a small town along a seashore. Tall, dingy, dilapidated buildings all around me with paved streets to walk on and not a small plant in sight. I was no longer running, but now, I was looking for a place to stay. This time, Joy, my sister was with me.
As I weaved through the alleys and backstreets, down the pavement, up the road, Joy quietly trudged behind me. At one point I realized, we must have gotten lost and had to ask for direction. We walked some more... Finally, we reached the hotel! Whew!
Well, I wish I could say that was it, but, once inside, we found ourselves in what seem to be a maze! We can't find the front desk! We turned here and there, opened one door and another, walked into lobbies.. at no avail. Tired, I suggested we sit and rest. Then I started playing on my phone! And I totally lost tracked of the time! What was I thinking?! We could be in our room, comfortably resting, but instead we were out on a dark lobby! I apologized to my sister who was still being quiet. No complaint, not a word, not even a sound. Which made me feel more guilty. So, we started looking for the front desk again, until we reached what seemed to be a laundry room, where there were two staff working. I asked for help and the kind lady stopped what she was doing and led us to the reception. At long last, we were given our room key...
Then I woke up.
Of course, it was a dream!
While it wasn't particularly scary, it was gloomy and sad. I was glad to see my sister, though, even if it was just a dream. But there was more to the dream. I'm sure of it.
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" -Revelation 21:5
Still thinking about my dream, I started reading my morning Bible verse, the author shared a story about this person who was admiring a high rise apartment saying "if I could just get that top-floor apartment, I could live there forever". This made him think, as Christians, why should we be content of living in this world where buildings deteriorate, neighbourhoods change, nations collapse, politics worsens...?! Why indeed?! When our Lord, Jesus is preparing something new, something greater than what our mind could imagine?!
Then I thought of my dream. I realized that the runnings, walkings, searchings were ME for the past years... it was all the struggles... all my pains... my doubts... hurts... tears... victories... hope... losses... my sister, Joy 😢... it was my journey, so far.
Maybe, God is telling me the wandering is over. I'm where He wants me to be. Maybe He is showing me that the towering, grey and oftentimes cold walls that darkened and blocked my way were my own fears... and He's held me all those times. Maybe the Lord is showing me His promises... and all I need to do is claim. And maybe, He's reminding me that He's already given me the key... and it's time to use it.
Scary if you'd ask me. I've been comfortable being uncomfortable for a long time that the thought of moving past my past is terrifying! 😛 Then again, my past has taught me, strengthened me, prepared me for what lies ahead. It has to! What's the use of our experiences if we don't learn from them? Grow from them?!
I don't know where God wants to bring me at this point in my life, and I don't think I'm ready😨 I mean, who's ever ready when they're called? But, I'm willing... and I will obey. Sooo... watch out world??? 😎
Thou that hast given so much to me, give me one thing more, a grateful heart: not thankful when it pleaseth me, as if thy blessings had spare days, but such a heart whose pulse may be thy praise. -George Herbert
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