Life's Rush

"7 AM the usual morning line up. Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean. Polish and wax, do laundry and mop and shine up. Sweep again and by then it's like 7:15..."

I once could relate to this song. I think I still sometimes do. The difference between me and Rapunzel, though, is that while she complains of doing the same thing everyday and finding herself with nothing else to do, I'm whining about doing everything, the same thing everyday and still can't seem to finish anything!

I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Ever since I could remember, I've always woke up at 5 in the morning. It began when I started school when I was only six. Living an hour drive away from the school, we have a school jeepney that picked us up from the house and brings us to the school and back in the afternoon. It's funny, but I still clearly remember Mang Domeng, and fondly at that.

From grade school to high school, we were trained to wake up at 5 so we could shower and eat breakfast. When I went to UST, I continued the practice even when I started working. It just became a habit.

I don't know when I started feeling the stress of it all but after proudly serving the City of Edmonton for ten years, I've decided to resign. Believe me, if taking 150 calls a day brought me tremendous pressure, the first days of doing nothing at home gave me a whole new level of hysteria!

It was a struggle! But I've started training myself to slow down. Yep. I am training myself to slow down. When I have trouble sleeping and my mind starts running wild planning for tomorrow, I stop my train of thoughts and place my mind in an empty, quiet room. In the morning, when I wake up way too early and couldn't go back to sleep, I read the Bible or listen to a quiet music. If that doesn't work still, I go down and drink a warm milk tea. And when I'm at the mall, I stopped watching the time and checking the bus schedule and instead, I force myself to enjoy the moment.

With or without the aid of an alarm clock, I still wake up at 5. I can't help it, but instead of rushing to the washroom to shower and get ready for work, preparing baon and eating breakfast, I now try to just breathe! Take a moment to empty my head of all these things that I'm supposed to do and just breathe. Read my verse for the day. Listen to soothing Christian music. Take a deep breath. Stretch. Ask God to slow me down.

Unfortunately, most of us are just so used to rushing we no longer have time to enjoy life as we should.

Stop and smell the flowers.

I know how people scoffs at the millennials for their pursuit of work-life balance but I think that's precisely what we all need. Balance! Which I never thought of in my younger years when all my energy was spent on work. I can't even remember ever taking a vacation while I was still living in the Philippines, except for church related or work organized travels!

And I'm paying dearly for it.

God had to bring me to Canada to look at life with new eyes.

I love Philippines. That will never change, but, here, God showed me how precious though short and fragile life is that I've learned to appreciate life more. Here, I see the value of God's creation, great and small and in all forms... which help me appreciate myself more. I think I'm starting to see God's reason for bringing me here.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them." - Matthew 6:26

This verse has always been one of my favourites. When I start to worry, I look around me and scold myself "why am I worrying? Am I not much more valuable than the birds outside my window?" When I start to panic and have the urge to charge into the day, I remind myself "when did God ever left me alone to fend for myself?" Everything I have is from the Lord. Everything I am, is because of Him.

Today, if you have this urge to run into the busyness of this world, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think of nothing... I assure you, in that nothingness, you will find peace... in that peace, you will find joy... in that joy, you will find strength... in that strength, you will find purpose... and in that purpose, a fulfillment.

Let me leave you with this nice quote:

“Every sunset is an opportunity to reset. Every sunrise begins with new eyes.”

— Richie Norton

Have a great weekend! God Bless! 😇

The Key

At first, I was running in the city, on the streets, trails, walkways under the scorching sun... then, I was still running but I've reached a long stretch of beaches and it was already dark.

With a blink of an eye, I found myself in a small town along a seashore. Tall, dingy, dilapidated buildings all around me with paved streets to walk on and not a small plant in sight. I was no longer running, but now, I was looking for a place to stay. This time, Joy, my sister was with me.

As I weaved through the alleys and backstreets, down the pavement, up the road, Joy quietly trudged behind me. At one point I realized, we must have gotten lost and had to ask for direction. We walked some more... Finally, we reached the hotel! Whew!

Well, I wish I could say that was it, but, once inside, we found ourselves in what seem to be a maze! We can't find the front desk! We turned here and there, opened one door and another, walked into lobbies.. at no avail. Tired, I suggested we sit and rest. Then I started playing on my phone! And I totally lost tracked of the time! What was I thinking?! We could be in our room, comfortably resting, but instead we were out on a dark lobby! I apologized to my sister who was still being quiet. No complaint, not a word, not even a sound. Which made me feel more guilty. So, we started looking for the front desk again, until we reached what seemed to be a laundry room, where there were two staff working. I asked for help and the kind lady stopped what she was doing and led us to the reception. At long last, we were given our room key...

Then I woke up.

Of course, it was a dream!

While it wasn't particularly scary, it was gloomy and sad. I was glad to see my sister, though, even if it was just a dream. But there was more to the dream. I'm sure of it.

He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" -Revelation 21:5

Still thinking about my dream, I started reading my morning Bible verse, the author shared a story about this person who was admiring a high rise apartment saying "if I could just get that top-floor apartment, I could live there forever". This made him think, as Christians, why should we be content of living in this world where buildings deteriorate, neighbourhoods change, nations collapse, politics worsens...?! Why indeed?! When our Lord, Jesus is preparing something new, something greater than what our mind could imagine?!

Then I thought of my dream. I realized that the runnings, walkings, searchings were ME for the past years... it was all the struggles... all my pains... my doubts... hurts... tears... victories... hope... losses... my sister, Joy 😢... it was my journey, so far.

Maybe, God is telling me the wandering is over. I'm where He wants me to be. Maybe He is showing me that the towering, grey and oftentimes cold walls that darkened and blocked my way were my own fears... and He's held me all those times. Maybe the Lord is showing me His promises... and all I need to do is claim. And maybe, He's reminding me that He's already given me the key... and it's time to use it.

Scary if you'd ask me. I've been comfortable being uncomfortable for a long time that the thought of moving past my past is terrifying! 😛 Then again, my past has taught me, strengthened me, prepared me for what lies ahead. It has to! What's the use of our experiences if we don't learn from them? Grow from them?!

I don't know where God wants to bring me at this point in my life, and I don't think I'm ready😨 I mean, who's ever ready when they're called? But, I'm willing... and I will obey. Sooo... watch out world??? 😎

Thou that hast given so much to me, give me one thing more, a grateful heart: not thankful when it pleaseth me, as if thy blessings had spare days, but such a heart whose pulse may be thy praise. -George Herbert

I'm back...

Wow! It's been awhile... I actually thought I haven't published anything and just realized that I did post some blogs last year... and the year before! LOL It would have been better, though if I haven't stopped, but, I confess, the pressures of life has taken its toll on me. No excuses, but that happens to even the best of us.

"Every sunset is an opportunity to reset. Every sunrise begins with new eyes." -Richie Norton

We all go through some rough roads in our lives. Some would take longer, while others would just breeze through it. Some would go unscathed, while others would barely survive... each with different stories to tell... each with different loads to carry... each with different paths to take... but I believe that everyone could learn a thing or two from those detours.

For the past years, I have been through various "detours". I crawled my way out of a dark, cold tunnel... wandered through the wilderness... scampered off some stormy nights... scurried for shelter on rainy days... puzzled out my way through a labyrinth... drifted at sea... and all those times, I've always looked up and cried to God "Show me the way, Lord"

It wasn't easy. Being loss. It still is. Not easy being loss.

The only difference now is, I'm aware! I'm aware of things I wasn't for a long time. Knowing where I'm coming from... and where I want to go. Well, more like where God wants me to go 😇

Going forward, I am once again starting this little blog of mine, hopefully, this time with more contents, more photos, some videos and maybe even a store. So, help me, God 🙏🏼

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10